A Great Lie, Uncovered

Quite a lot has been written about anal probes by xenophobes in the giant military-media-industrial complex. The lies are meant to increase, profits and keep the populace paralyzed with fear so that they will stay safely glued to their televisions, and away from the Brethren.

In fact, the Brethren use very tasty, perfectly safe, positively painless, oral probes. They taste like chocolate. This should come as no surprise, since all sentient life is addicted to chocolate. While they are fond of chocolate in general, the myth that aliens are particularly fond of Reese's Pieces is just another form of blatant profiteering . Even aliens, who are not real savvy when it comes to human culture, know that Reese's Pieces which, are far inferior to Reese's Cups, are just a lame attempt to steal market-share from M&Ms.

Anyway... back to the probes... they look and taste a lot like chocolate-covered crickets. And now you see why the global utopia that Brethren technology represents has not become manifest on planet Earth: these guys stink when it comes to marketing. We know... we've tried. In response to our endless stream of helpful suggestions, they've come out with a smaller probe that looks and tastes and awful lot like... a chocolate-covered ant.

These guys mastered the folding of space-time?